Hermione and Me
by Hermione Double1
Summary: While Harry is still at the Dursleys, Ron and Hermione are forced together........with interesting consequences! SPOILERS OF OOTP. *completed*
1. Gnome Dung

Hi's and hellos! Okay, yet another Ron/ Hermione romance to keep you all entertained until book #6 comes out, in which I'm sure Hermione and Ron will get together. Can you BELIEVE they haven't noticed how well suited they are? Hang on, book 6? BOOK 6? Then there will be book 7…………then nothing. SHOCK HORROR! What will become of my life when there are no more? I will wait for the last, then shrivel up and die. You see what has become of my life? All because of JK Rowling. Who, incidentally, I am not. No, I am from planet Pluto, and plan to steal Ms. Rowling away from her Edinburgh mansion and extricate her brain so I can manipulate her so she will NEVER stop writing about Hogwarts. 

Yours,

Hermione Double.

Damn! Fred left a pile of gnome dung in my bed! Stupid git! I hate Harry for giving them all that dosh to start Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, but they're doing really well out of it- they're on about moving out now. Well, at least the house will be less cramped, but I don't doubt there will be much less laughter, and hopefully a lot less of Mum's screaming. 

We're off to Grimmauld Place on Thursday. I'm not sure I want to go, not without Sirius. Harry's taking it hard, and I don't blame him. He lost his mum, his dad, and now the closest thing he had to a family. I felt awful for Sirius too, I mean he spent half his life in prison for a crime he didn't commit, and when he finally got out, he was banged up in his parent's old place and then he was murdered by his cousin. He left Grimmauld Place to Harry in his will, and Harry said it would be ok for us to carry on using it for the Order. I don't know what Harry will be like there when we have to stay and his godfather isn't there.

Speaking of Harry, we're picking him up on Friday and Hermione's coming up in an hour. God. Hermione!

I spoke to her in the felly-tone the other day. I like listening to her voice. God, I didn't mean to say that. What I meant to say is that I DON'T like listening to her voice. You never understand what she's on about half the time, going on about spew and stuff, and speaking on those felly-tone things are weird- you can't actually SEE the other person. It's very odd.

Hermione said she wrote to Vicky the other day. He's such a prat. I don't know why she likes him so much. I mean, just because he can play Quidditch quite well. And she doesn't even like Quidditch! She insists that they're only pen friends. I ask you! Pen friends? Ha! Oh god, she'll be here soon.

What am I going to do? Er, urm………….. LOOK AT THE STATE OF MY ROOM! Urgh! Pig's left droppings all over the carpet, my clothes and books are everywhere and the remnants of the gnome dung are starting to smell. Better get to it then. Not that I'm trying to impress her or anything……………….. 

A/n: Hi again. In case you were wondering, I am not an alien, but I wouldn't mind making JK write more Harry forever more. But, unfortunately, you can't have everything in life. To anyone wondering about Hermione's Secrets, it is coming soon, and anyone wondering about Life after Hogwarts, I'm hugely sorry but I'm still waiting for inspiration- the muses don't like me much at the moment. Now PLEASE review or I won't continue this one.


	2. HER arrival

Hi, thank you all for the kind reviews. You all know that I am a 3-eyed alien with an emotional range of a teaspoon, so obviously I am NOT JKR. That is most unfortunate, but I thank I shall go and drown my sorrows in some more Harry Potter and the.... (even though me and RocketGirl888 reckon it should be Ron Weasley and the... Oh yeah- hi Ali, and hi Ginny. Keep on rocking.) Well, anyway, here it is...... Yours, Hermione Double  
  
PS, To Lavender Angel and anyone else interested, it isn't exactly a diary, but it kind of is. To tell the truth, I don't know what it is. Make up your own minds, and have fun!  
  
Hermione's here. We went to pick her up before- her house is crackers - LOADS of Muggle stuff everywhere. Dad went mad - he honestly nearly exploded when he saw the Velly-Tision or whatever it's called. He's SO embarrassing. Oh God, I'm starting to sound like Percy. First prefect, next cauldron bottom reports. I think I should maybe start hanging round with young Frederic and George.  
  
Anyway, I asked Hermione about Vicky again, she still says there's nothing going on, and I still don't believe her. I mean I WANT to believe her, but it's difficult. There's something different about her, you see? I mean, of course she's different to Harry- I mean- she's a girl. (See Hermione? I am acknowledging your gender!) Anyway, she's just different.  
  
REALLY different. I know it sounds lame. I know it sounds stupid. And I tell you what really is stupid- me talking about my best-friend when I have to go and pay Fred back for putting dung in my bed. Hmmm, perhaps some rotted newt-heads from last-years potion store in tonight's ice cream may do the trick.  
  
Hermione's messing about with Ginny. I can hear her giggling. She's got a nice laugh. She sounds like a hyperactive seal- it's quite cute. Oh, God, I'm doing it AGAIN. But I like to talk about her. I don't dare talk about her in front of Harry in case he gets suspicious. Not that there's anything to be suspicious about- I mean, there's nothing between us. There might be something between Harry and Hermione now that the Cho thing's out the window, though. God, I'm paranoid. Stop it Ron!  
  
Oops, I think Mum wants me to de-gnome the garden again. Shame I can't Apparate yet- I think Fred and George have already escaped. Lucky gits. Hey, maybe Hermione can help me. Now there's a thought.......  
  
But how to drag her away from Ginny and their girly chit-chat (urgh- I cringe at the thought.) Though I think the old trick of male ignorance might help.  
  
God, Ginny's door need's a good paint- pink and peeling! Anyway, here goes... Oh God! What is wrong with me? This is my little sister and my best- friend! Well, admittedly (but only to you) that maybe I would prefer if she was, well...a bit more than that. Oh God, WHAT AM I SAYING?? 


	3. The Biggest, Reddest Talking Tomato in t...

Hi! I hope you like my new chapter, I didn't realise how fun it is to write as Ron! And by the way- I am sincerely sorry for the way I buggered it all up by putting the wrong chapter on, but I was in a hurry and I pressed the wrong button! Anyway, as you all know, I AM NOT JK ROWLING, NOR DO I OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. Oh, and PLEASE REVIEW!

Yours,

Hermione Double.

'Ouch- GINNY!' Goddamn that door. Ginny had decided to leave her room just as I had tried to enter. The result: direct collision and a throbbing head.

'Sorry Ron. What were you doing outside my room like a gormless flobberworm in the first place?'

'I…..I was just wondering if you wanted to help me de-gnome the garden?' And, at this point, I turned into the World's Biggest, Reddest Talking Tomato. For some reason the World's Biggest, Reddest Talking Tomato thought that perhaps if he stared at the floor long enough, it may fall through to the room below, therefore, not needing to be on the same floor as the very pretty girl stood in front of him. Very unfortunately, this theory never prevailed, (oh dear, I'm even beginning to sound like Hermione!) but, very fortunately, the very pretty girl stood in front of him decide that The Tomato didn't care.

'Of course I'll help. We should ask Crookshanks, too.' Hermione giggled.

'Ginny?' I asked_. "PLEASE say no. Say no. Go on Ginny. SAY NO,_" I found myself thinking.

'Sorry, mate. I have to write to Dean,' Thank God for that. Hang on- Dean? She's still going out with him? Harry would be a much better choice. 'I was just going to get parchment when you walked into the door,' God, Ginny! Why are little sisters so embarrassing? Anyway, she buggered off, looking for something or other, so me and Hermione set off to the garden together.

It was fine at first. We were just discussing the usual- homework, music, evil wizards and gnome-dung when the topic of relationships cropped up. My love life is boring, if not depressingly non-existent, so it was more her telling me stuff. She told me that the whole her- Krum thing was just a "bit of fun" and that she "never really fancied him much". Of course, at this, my heart skipped a beat. 

She knows loads of stuff about other people's relationships- just look at the way she knew Harry fancied Cho when he hadn't even told me! But, the funny thing is, she's never once guessed the way I liked her. And, let me take this opportunity to announce to the world that I am incredibly thankful for it. We did have an incredibly awkward moment, however, when she asked me whom I liked. What was I supposed to say to that? Yeah, I can just imagine- _You, Hermione. I think you're well fit, but I never told you 'cause I thought you didn't like me. And I was right, wasn't I? _So I pretended that the gnome I had just lobbed over the wall had bitten my finger, so I ran in and grabbed a Healoquik-Sticky-Plaster. She rushed after me, fussing like only Hermione can do. She's so sweet when she worries, but disturbingly like my mother. So, we abandoned our gnome-harassment, and retreated to my room, while I nervously hid my perfectly non-injured hand away from her big eyes. They're nice, her eyes, but as you may have guessed, I'm no great shakes at describing stuff, but I'll try my best. As I said they're big, and nice. Brown I think. Actually, no, I'm not sure. They may be green. Dunno, really. But well, you get the picture. They're just nice. 

Thanks for reading, now PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE review. Go on. Please. With a cherry on top? Tomato sauce? Chocolate spread? Marmalade? Any other kind of condiment? Do it for me? Okay then, do it for yourself, safe in the knowledge you made a young girl very happy. Hey, this is good practise for when we do persuasive writing at school……………………………..


	4. Blame it on the hormones

Hi again. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. This is not a great chapter, but anyway.

I'm not JKRowling. 

Yours,

Hermione Double

As you know, she has nice eyes, and I could feel them bore into me as we talked. I nervously avoided those big, green (or brown, or _whatever) _eyesas we conversed (that's probably not the right word, but I think Hermione would be proud of me- I rarely use words that exceed 3 letters. Hey! I did it again! _Exceed….)._ Anyway, I tried not to look at her.

I really _want_ to look at her, but, well, lately, I've found it hard when we talk, because, well, I keep getting embarrassed, because I keep saying something stupid and making a Horklump out of myself. For example, Hermione and I were discussing Dean and Ginny before…………..

'So they're still going out then? I dunno if he's right for her, you know……'

'Oh Ron, stop being so overprotective! I mean it's sweet that you care……' **Sweet?** She thinks I'm **sweet**? 

'Well, she IS my little sister.'

'I am fully aware of how she is related to you. I just mean to say that you are a little too overprotective at times, and well, it's as if you're smothering her…..'

'Smothering? I thought that meant something's burning…………'

'That's smouldering, Ron.'

'Oh.' 

I rest my case.

I don't know what to do. God, what shall I do?

Oh, who gives a damn what _she_ thinks. Obviously she doesn't like me. Not in the way _I_ like _her_, in any case.

__

Get over yourself, Ron! You seriously thought she'd like _you?_

No, I've always known that there was no chance of us getting together. I've just been kidding myself for the last five years that there was the tiniest chance she could return my feelings. Damn, I'm thicker than I thought! 

She has always made it so obvious. I guess I'll just have to survive with being her _friend._ I will abandon all feelings for her, right now.

__

I hate her. 

****

No I don't.

This isn't exactly working, is it?

Anyway, as you know, we're in my room right now, talking about stuff that only _friends _would talk about. Like…………….homework.

'I don't understand this, Hermione!' God, she's fit. Oh, damn.

'Ron, it's really simple.'

'Simple for you, maybe, but you're the top of the year, and I'm beginning to think I have less intellectual content than _Goyle_!'

'Oh, Ron, you _are _clever, you know it, the teachers know it and _I_ know it. You just have to concentrate.' Did…did….she…….just say………I'm……that…I'm…_clever?_

Oh hell, she did.

What shall _I _say? 

Eeeerrrrr…… something really impressive and smart, ummmm…………

'I'll take that as a compliment, shall I?' and my infamous Sarcastic Side takes over. Not at all what I was thinking. (But I suppose what I was thinking should be outlawed.) 

'Yep. Anyway- the Devil's Quoit will react with the Streeler venom, which makes the potion blue- '

'God, Hermione, can we give it a rest for today? Anyway, tea's nearly ready- Mum's making pie.'

'If we must. But we really need to get to it tomorrow, you know. Snape won't be happy if we turn up and our essays are only half finished.'

'Won't that be a tragedy? Come on Hermione, we've got five more weeks to finish it yet.'

'Yes, but it's best to do it now before we go to Grimmauld Place.'

'I know.'

Well, my plan isn't working. I still like her. REALLY like her. 

To hell with it. I'll blame it on the hormones. 

PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!


	5. The Kiss Thing

Hi again! Here's the latest chapter, it's a bit lame, but I'm a bit uninspired lately, so I hope you'll forgive me. I can't think of any funny disclaimers right now, so you all know I don't any of the characters or anything.

Yours,

Hermione Double.

I can't believe what happened last night. 

I was in bed. Nothing unusual about that. No, well, I was in bed, as you know, and there was like this tap on the door. Scared the hell out of me, it did. And anyway, this head peers round the door.

__

Hermione. 

Evidently, she had been on a nighttime stroll, 'cause she was "_bored_".

'I couldn't sleep, and Ginny's out of it, so I thought I'd come and see if you were awake. Budge up.' Then……….she got into bed with me. Hermione was in the same bed as me! Yes, Hermione Granger- IN_ MY _BED! 

We talked about stuff, you know, the usual, but she once again asked me whom I liked. What is it to her, anyway? She won't get it out of me. Never. Well, not unless I decide to ask her out. Which won't happen.

I guess I'm scared of rejection. You can't blame me though, can you? I mean, look at my competition- Krum- the international Quidditch player, Harry Potter- the famous, wonderful, boy who defeated You-Know-Who (if he really does like her, that is). I'm dead if he does. I've had this thought, over and over, in one of the rarely-used corners of my mind. If he did like her, and if she liked him……and if they went out……….where would that leave me? I'm the one that likes her……….. but I'd be the one that loses out- I'd be the one left alone, while they _cavort_ around having fun and crap. 

Anyway, she never got it out of me, but I think she was kind of hinting at me to ask her who she fancied in return. I didn't though. I don't want to know, I mean, the information will only make me horrifically depressed for the rest of my life. 

After a bit she fell asleep. Yes, Hermione Granger, asleep- IN MY BED! I still can't believe it.

What the hell was I meant to do then? If Mam came in she'd go balistic. OK, so, I had three options- 

1: Wake her up. But she looked so peaceful………..

2: Carry her to Ginny's room. But I didn't want to hurt her, and I'm a lazy git, anyway………

3: Kip on the floor. 

Unfortunately, I had to do the latter. Sounds kind of gentlemanly, though, doesn't it? So, anyway, I spent a sleepless night on the carpet, occasionally checking to see if she was awake. 

I was going to wake her about five, so that Mum and Ginny wouldn't realise, but she saved me the trouble. Around 4ish, I saw a big bushy thing rising from the depths of my Chudley Canons quilt. She leant down over the side of my bed, her hair swinging madly.

'What ti- Ron, why on _earth _are you on the floor?'

'Well, I thought, it might look……… a bit……….. _fishy…._ You know, if Mum came in.' she laughed, and I once again turned into a Tomato. 

'Oh Ron, you're so _sweet_,' what am I, a Fizzing Whizzbee?

Anyway, she pulled me up, and pecked me on the cheek. Yes, you heard. _She pecked me on the cheek. _I love it when she does that. She then went, (unfortunately,) and left me recounting the whole kiss thing, over and over. I really did love it when she did that.

You know what to do. And if you don't, PRESS THE GODDAMN REVIEW BUTTON AND MAKE MY DAY!


	6. Telling The Volcano about The Someone

__

Hi! Okay, here's the latest chapter. When you've finished, why not check out AbsoluteNutters- an account for co-written stories by myself and fellow fanfic writer, best friend and biggest R/Hr shipper I've ever met, Ginny-Star (you go girl!) Our first ficclet should be up soon, so why not go and review? (Please?)

Yours,

Hermione Double.

A couple of you have asked if I'm JK Rowling. (Thanks for asking! That's one of the biggest compliments I could ever hope to receive!! Urgh, shows you how pathetic I am, and how great the goddess of fiction is!) Unfortunately, I am not, so I don't any of the characters, but thanks to all those kind reviewers, anyway! 

She walked over, a smile showing on her gorgeous lips. She shook her long hair out of her face, and sat on the seat next to me.

'I love you, Ron………………….' 

I jerked awake, and Ginny's head came into focus. I could have killed her- I'd been having a great dream.

She had me cornered. I could not escape. 

'So, what happened last night?' God, I _hate_ little sisters. 

'What do you mean?' 

'You know what I mean. Hermione was in your room last night.' She said firmly.

'No she wasn't,' Oh, thank God for the Innocent Look. I am still yet to find a person to resist this face and let me off punishment. Apart from Snape. And McGonogall. And Mum. And Ginny………….. Ok, so the Innocent Look needs a little work. 

'She was. That stupid bloody ghoul woke me up, and Hermione wasn't there. Nor did she arrive 'til half past four this morning.' Ginny winked. I growled in reply.

'If you must know you nosy Erumpent, she just came in 'cause she was sick of your snoring.'

'Oh ha, ha.' She said sarcastically. 'No, seriously. Did anything………._interesting_ happen?'

'No. Just shut up, or I'll tell Mum about you and _Dean._' I said, in a singsong voice.

'She already knows. She is also very aware of your, er, _passion_ for Hermione.' She said coolly. 

'WHAT?' I could have walloped her. I nearly did, 'til I realised she's my little sister and smaller than Harry. 'PASSION FOR HERMIONE? Ginny, are you ok? Shall I take you to St. Mungos? It's just, you seem to be a bit delusional.'

'Oh, Ron. Don't be a prat.'

'I am **not** a prat.' And I'm _NOT!_

'Just admit it.'

'No. I am not going to admit it because I _do not_ fancy Hermione. Now, will you please step away from the doorway before I jinx you into a million pieces?'

'Not until you tell me what happened.' She said, stubbornly. 

'Fine. Hermione came into my room because she couldn't sleep, and you were out cold, so I suppose she felt a bit- well- lonely, and she came up to my room.'

'And…………'

'Nothing happened.' I said, firmly.

'Oh.'

'Right, now you are fully aware of the non-existent events which took place in this bedroom last night, can you please move so I can go and get some breakfast?'

'Fine,' she looked how I felt-thoroughly disappointed at the fact I had not announced my, ahem, _undying love_ for one of the best friends I had ever had.

Instead of going down to breakfast, I sat at my desk - I had stuff to think about. Did Mum really know how about Hermione and me? If Ginny knew, did everyone else know too? And…….did Harry know? If Harry didn't know, and I told him, would he do an impression of one of those volcanoey things again? I didn't really know whether I could tell him- I never know whether he'll explode nowadays. But, he's the only person I can really ask- he's my best friend. I couldn't tell Fred or George- they would never let me live it down- nor could I tell Charlie- he was not back from Romania- I couldn't ask Mum or Dad for obvious reasons- I'm not even going to bring Percy into this- I don't really _want_ to tell Ginny, and Bill hasn't the time right now. So, the Volcano it is. 

I got out of bed, and groped around for a clean piece of parchment and a quill. 

__

Dear Harry,

Hi! This will probably sound pathetic, but I need your advice. I suppose I should start at the beginning, so here goes: I don't know whether you've noticed, but I seem to have some kind of Girl Repellent Jinx on me (or maybe it is just because I resemble a Chimaera, or have the personality of a Flobberworm,) but I'm sick of it. There's someone I like, and I don't know what to do. I'm getting really desperate. I like her, (well, obviously,) but I don't know whether she likes me. I know you aren't the foremost authority on this kind of thing, what with Cho and everything, but you have had a whole load more snogs than me, and all the girls seem to like you when they don't think you're mentally unstable. Please hurry up and owl back, and I'll see you soon.

Ron.

I threw Pig out of the window, and watched him bob up and down through the air. I feel so much better now I've told someone. It felt as if there was……..I dunno, like a load of stuff in my chest or something, and now its all been let free. I just hope Harry hasn't realised that the someone I like is the someone currently two floors below me.

__

A/n, rubbish chapter I know, but can you please review anyway? It's good clean fun! Oh, and I apologise for the lack of fluff, but I reckon the only part of Ron's life that's fluffy is his brain, which isn't home to much else, and that's why we love him! And I'll honestly **try **and make my chapters a bit longer, but for some reason my muse doesn't allow me to make chapters any longer than this ^ 


	7. DateAde

Hi everybody! (_Hi Dr. Steph! _Okay, okay, I know I'm a Simpson's freak!) I know you're all going to complain about _yet another_ really short chapter, but it just _has_ to be this short! I ain't JK Rowling, so obviously I don't own any of it. OOOOHHH, and before I forget- check out AbsoluteNutters- we've got our first story up now!

Yours,

Hermione Double. (NOT JKR.)

I bounded downstairs, just glad that I was about to see _her_. 

I said hi to everyone (including _her) _and sat at the table, absent-mindedly chewing toast.

'You're quiet today, Ron,' said Hermione, and I jerked out of my stupor. 

'Eh?' I replied stupidly.

'I was just commenting on the fact you are unusually quiet this morning.'

'Guess I'm just a bit tired- you know, I didn't really get a lot of sleep last night,' I winked.

I could tell Hermione and Ginny were trying hard not to laugh.

'So, what do you want to do today?' Hermione asked. I didn't mind what I did, as long as I did it with her.

'Dunno,' I grunted.

'Shall we go for a walk or something? It's a really nice day- unless you want to go and play Quidditch _again? _I was about to accept this rather thrilling offer, but an unwelcome voice sounded, interrupting our conversation. Why, oh, _why_ was I cursed with brothers?

'Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, a romantic walk for our favourite _couple_, eh, Fred?'

'I should say so, George,'

'What the hell are you talking about?' I asked, any coolness I had in my voice while speaking to Hermione out the window. 

'You know what we mean, Ronnikins,' said George. Urgh, I hate them. Why can't they move out _now_??

'Funnily enough, I don't,' I replied acidly.

'You know what George?' asked Fred, as if suddenly struck by a wave of inspiration. 

'No, what is it, Fred?' For once I wished Mum was there to shut them up, but, rather unfortunately, she was in the garden pruning a Flutter-By bush or something or other.

'I've just had an idea for a new product. How about an Undensity Ointment, so little brothers can finally notice they fancy their best friend?' said Fred. They. Are. So. _Dead._

'Killer idea, bro! And I have the best idea for a –oh what's the word?- oh yeah, Gilly Pig!' said George, winking at me.

'Guinea pig,' sighed Hermione under her breath. I had sunken almost beneath the table now. Oh, hell, why do I have to exist?

'Oh yeah! We can make a whole range: _DateAde_- fizzy drinks for the disastrous daters. You know, everything from making you cool while with your partner to-to……' 

'To drinks you can slip the girl- or boy- to make you seem more attractive! Yeah!' finished George. 

And, yes, you guessed it, I had morphed into the Tomato once more. I cannot believe those prats. We aren't going on that rather inviting walk till tomorrow now. 

Hang on………………SHA-WING! A walk with Hermione! _Alone_.

Yay!

And I do not need an Undensity Ointment to see that I like Hermione, but I wouldn't say no to a DateAde. I mean, what am I going to do in tomorrow? 

You've read so far- why not just review? Please? Go on, you know you want to!!!!!!!


	8. The Volcano's Reply

Okay folks- here's the second to last chapter of Hermione and Me. It's another short one, but hopefully the actual writing will make up for that. Oh and –dun, dun, dun! Time for another disclaimer. Actually, no, I'm not gonna bother. I mean, come on, what'll happen if I don't? 

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ouch. Okay, a niece piece of advice for any of my fellow fanfic writers. Disclaim unless you want to be dismembered. Painfully.

Yours,

Hermione Double.

PS, after you've r & rd this, why not check out AbsoluteNutters? It's the best way to numb the pain from your missing limbs.

Unfortunately, Fred and George haven't even _begun _developing any of those fizzy drinks for disastrous daters, so I'll just have to be as cool as possible tomorrow. It's not that hard. Oh hell, who am I kidding? I might as well eat Bobotuber puss for all the good it'll do.

Even Harry didn't have any decent advice. Pig brought his reply before, just as I got back from playing Quidditch over on the field (which was absolute hell- Fred and George were throwing me hints, and I was catching them better than the bloody Quaffle.) If that isn't bad enough, my brothers have absolutely _no_ understanding of the word subtle, and _she_ was watching. Honestly, I just felt like throwing myself off my broom. Anyway, as I said, Harry's letter was absolutely no help whatsoever: 

__

Ron, 

Thanks for the hugely complimentary letter you sent. Yes, I did notice the amazing (and rather amusing) way you repel girls, (perhaps Malfoy jinxed you when you weren't watching,) and I think it's probably rubbing off on me, but to tell the truth, I don't really care after all that crap with Cho. I've finally realised that girls aren't all they're cracked up to be.

But, as you asked me rather than Hermione for advice, and you're worrying about this while we're on holiday I'm beginning to think that a certain Miss Granger may mean more to you than you let on. In fact, I've had suspicions for a while ever, since the Yule Ball, and you went crazy when she turned up with Krum.

'So everyone knows!' I thought. And I never went crazy at Krum! It's his own fault for being such a complete and utter git. I can't say he hasn't got good taste though. 

If you want to go out with her, go and ask and stop complaining to me. I'm crap at this kind of stuff- I'm still waiting for Hermione to publish "translating mad things girls say so boys can understand them."

Ron, please just GOAND ASK HER! She probably fancies you. But if she doesn't, don't blame me, I've already said that the mystery of girls, is, indeed, a mystery. See you soon, 

Harry.

How- _illuminating. _

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

Ow. I recommend you don't bang your head on the desk when you're frustrated- it kind of hurts.

Oh hell, there's someone at the door. They'd better be armed with a headache cure. 

And so enters the only person that can make my own situation any worse (or any better for that matter). Hermione bloody Granger.

And suddenly, my head feels a lot better.

'Have you done any more on that Potions assignment?'

No I bloody well have not.

'A bit,' HA! I don't give a damn about Potions. Unless it was a potion to make someone attracted to you, when you know full well they bloody well aren't.

'Right, well, shall we go for a walk now then?' Oh crap. Crap, crap, crap, bloody _crap._ Nuurgh! Er, what am I going to do? Well, I suppose I should answer.

'Er, if you want-'

'Come on then.'

I have the weirdest feeling that I am being led to a rather horrific, not to mention painful, death.

REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE????


	9. I feel a song coming on!

Well, here it is- my very last chapter, (boohoo!). Yes, I know it's short, and it's not very er….. _romantic,_ but come on- this is Ron we're talking about! I wish Ron belonged to me, but he doesn't, nor does Hermione or Harry or anyone, 'cause I ain't JK. Oh, and _than you_ for all my reviewers- I love you all! 

Yours,

Hermione Double

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Well, we're on that walk. It's dead nice, just sat here on a hill, looking down on Ottery St Catchpole, but there's just one thing I want to say. And I can't. But I _have_ to. 

Why, oh, _why_ is my life so…_bleurgh_? 

I really want to tell her. But I really don't want to. But I really do! Oh hell!

Right. I'm going to. No I bloody well am not. But I _need_ to. But I can't. Oh for goodness' sake. I just wished Harry could have given me some proper advice rather than - _She probably fancies you. But if she doesn't, don't blame me._

Right. This is it.

''Mi- 'Mione,' Why is this so bloody hard? Not only that- for some reason it feels like I've swallowed a whole newt and I can't talk properly. 'D'you- d'you like me?' 

'Ron, don't be a prat. Of course I like you! I mean, you're my best friend! Why on earth do you think I don't?'

'I……….don't…………. mean………. that.' I just wish some great massive foot would descend from the sky, squashing the Tomato into oblivion. Oh_, why _am I so thick? Why? Can anyone answer that? I certainly can't- I'm THICK.

'I don't understand.'

'Yes, you do, Hermione. I'm sick of this mixed message crap. I want a straight answer- do you like me the way…….the way…… _I like you_?_' Why the hell did I have to say that_? I know full well that she doesn't, I just needed to tell her. I mean, I really, really like her. She was the only person I'd ever felt this way about, and now not only are we not going out- we'll probably never be friends like we are now ever again. 

'Ron, what are you trying to say?' She's not exactly making this any easier, is she?

'You heard. Hermione. Look- I-I-I like you more than a friend, and I want you to go out with me, but I'm on the end of a whole load of crap and I don't really know if–––'

'Ron, _did you just ask me out_?'

'Well…….yeah.' You know I told you I wasn't a prat? I was wrong. Very wrong. _Hugely _wrong.

'Ron, yes. I will go out with you.' Oh. My. _God_. Did she just say………? She did.

I can think of just one word can sum this up:

WOOHOO!!!

Okay, stay cool Ron. 

Say something!

'Nurgh……….' Oh yeah, that was just sooooo cool. No wonder she can't resist you. 'You- you want to go out with me? SERIOUSLY? This isn't just some joke you––?' 

'Ron, this isn't a joke. I honestly want to go out with you,' she laughed. I doubt I have ever been so happy. This is like…. a MILLION times better than winning Quidditch, beating up trolls, getting into Gryffindor, watching the World Cup……….. better than anything. Ever.

Then, to top it all, _she snogged me._

I feel a song coming on……….

__

I'M GOING OUT WITH HERMIONE, I'M GOING OUT WITH HERMIONE, I'M GOING OUT WITH HERMIONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE……………………………………….

IN YOUR FACE VIKTOR BLOODY KRUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'I thought you liked that Krum git, though.'

'I do- well, I did. But just as a friend. He's a bit of a prat to tell you the truth. And I really fancied you, but, you never asked me, and well, I guess I…….'

'Hermione?'

'Yep?' I can't believe I'm going out with her!

'Shut up,' and we snogged. Yep. 'Cause……………………. 

I'M GOING OUT WITH HERMIONE, I'M GOING OUT WITH HERMIONE, I'M GOING OUT WITH HERMIONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE……………………………………….

A/n- awww!!! I can't believe it's the end! I have enjoyed writing this fic more than any other. I hope you liked it!


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